If he doesn't nap he's in a horrible mood all afternoon and evening, and throwing fits left and right. Which, in turn, puts me in a horrible mood. Then he's so overly tired from not napping that he catches a second wind of erratic hyper behavior right around 8pm and acts like a crazy person. I try to put him to bed at 8 every night still, even though I know it's not going to happen. Usually I put him down in bed while he kicks and screams and just leave and walk downstairs. Within 30 seconds he's downstairs too. We do this over and over and over again about 50-60 times before he finally cries himself to sleep three hours later at around 11 pm.
I've tried everything... I've tried rubbing his back and soothing him to sleep instead of leaving the room. Doesn't work. I've tried letting him fall asleep on the couch in front of the TV. Doesn't work. I've tried bribing him with things we can do in the morning if he just goes the $#@! to sleep. Doesn't work. Finally last night I was so exhausted I tried to convince him to lay down in my bed and watch cartoons. This was at 10:30 pm keep in mind, 2.5 hours into fighting over bedtime. I laid in bed and he sat next to me for about 3 minutes before he started jumping on the bed, jumping on me, and being hyper. This continued until almost midnight when I finally brought him back up to bed and somehow got him to stay there. I can't remember how, I was too tired.
Then first thing in the morning, as soon as the sun starts coming up he's pulling on me to get out of bed. I hate to sound like I'm whining... but I am. I really can't find a way to not be crabby having a cranky overly tired 2 year old by my side from 6 am to midnight, with no breaks in between, and no other parent here to lend a hand. I feel guilty for saying that, but although I love my kid, and I love my "job", everyone needs a break once in a while to have ten minutes of peace and quiet and sanity. Ten minutes where I can eat my own meal without sharing, fold the laundry without fear of the "tornado" coming through and toppling it over, or take a real shower and get dressed by myself. I know it will eventually get better and get back to "normal" but in the mean time I feel horrible that he's obviously upset about going to bed, and that I get upset with him for not going to bed.
Besides the not sleeping I've been feeling a little overwhelmed with Jace's behavior lately too. If I have to hear one more random person tell me he's a "handful" I might snap. I'm fully aware that Jace is of the "spirited" variety. I have no explanation for it except that it's his personality to be a little extra. Extra energized, extra defiant, extra disobedient. He's also very sweet, very funny, and very loving. Those things just get over shadowed when he's acting out.
I will usually warn people, such as new child care providers that will be watching him while I work, that he has alot of energy. I've had someone actually act upset with me when I pick him up, because they couldn't handle him. I can usually laugh it off if someone calls him a little "tazmanian devil" or something... because that's actually a pretty accurate description, lol. But, last night while I was working with a lady I've never worked with before she just would not stop making comments about how "much" Jace was. She even stated that I probably didn't want any more kids after having a kid like him. How am I supposed to take that? I LOVE MY KID. I love him to pieces. He's sweet and silly and lovable, and I wouldn't want him any other way. I want more kids because of him, not inspite of him. But if someone thinks that he's going to sit still and play quietly with the other kids his age, they're wrong. Do I have to apologize for that? Should I be concerned about his behavior? I don't know... but it's starting to wear on me.
I've tried experimenting with his diet to see if something could be triggering this behavior... and so far haven't gotten any conclusive answers. I just don't want it to get worse. If it's just an age and stage, I can handle that. I just don't want him to be the defiant 6 year old in school who's jumping the fence at recess and running away. It worries me. Maybe there are plenty of other kids just like Jace but I don't know it because they're cooped up inside because their moms also fear how they'll behave everytime they go anywhere.
I feel horrible saying these things, because it makes me feel like a failure as a mom. Who complains about their kid?! But, I want this blog to be honest, so that someday when Jace reads it he doesn't get the "sugar coated" version of his childhood through his mothers eyes. I want him to know what I struggled with as a parent, and hope he understands that every thing I do as his mom is with good intentions. I can handle other people's critiques of my parenting ( because we all know people love to critique other's parenting with the "He acts that way because he doesn't get any discipline" or "He acts that way because he gets too much discipline" ), but I just want Jace to think I did a good job as his mom.
So yea, now that I got that off my chest. (!!!) Let's see what else is up with Jace at 2 yrs and 3 months... He's a total chatterbox. He loves to play independantly now. He loves to draw. He's a dirt magnet. He's becoming more open to a variety of foods. He is wearing mostly 2T pants and a mix of 2T and 3T shirts. He's in a size 8 shoe. His hair is growing like a weed, I would have to trim it every week to keep it looking freshly cut. He loves reading, and Mr Potato Head, and trains, and trucks, and dinosaurs. He loves his panda bear, and I love the way he says "my panda beeeear". He's grown an attachment to a blanket finally... it's a fuzzy blue winter blanket that he sleeps with most nights and even carrys around the house once in a while. He loves playing with other kids his age but still doesn't grasp sharing or boundaries very well. He loves helping in the kitchen, and will be much more apt to eat something if he prepared it himself. He enjoys dumping all of his toys on the floor one bucket by one and then walking away not playing with any of them. Now that he talks and talks and talks and talks, he's figured out plenty of ways to say embarassing things in public... oy! He is very attached to his daddy all of a sudden, maybe because he's becoming more aware of how much time passes while Tate is away on business... so he's become more attached when he's home. This picture pretty much sums up Jace at 2 years 3 months...
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| "I roll the paper mommy!" |
Just kidding... sort of. ;) Here are some more pictures I've taken over the last few days.
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| "Mommy, I good boy." Is one of his favorite things to remind me. |
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| Our favorite time of day is first thing in the morning, while Jace plays by himself and I enjoy my coffee while listening to his imagination run wild. |
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| "Mommy take my picture with head-head." |
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| Making his own burritos with leftovers. |
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| Adding the tomatoes. |
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| Making a "moothie" |
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| "It's almost all done!" |
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| Happy boy with the meal he made. |
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| Since we have to leave the house everyday at nap time to drive around and force sleep... one of our main "errands" is to get mommy a shamrock shake. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've had four this week or that my nails are that chipped! Hangs head in shame. |
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| Our other main errand has been going to the thrift store at naptime. It's worked out well since we've been beefing up Jace's 3T wardrobe for this year, and also getting a little car-nap in. :)    |
5 comments:
Oh Katrina, I'm sorry things have been so hard! Don't let what other people say get to you, they have no clue! In my opinion, not taking him out because of fear of what other people will say is actually worse. I always say that Allie behaves better when we're out and she does this because we've taken her "out" since she was really little. If she throws a tantrum or does something else erratic, I have no problem "disciplining" her in public and try and not care what other people think! Have you tried time-outs? We don't do them often, but when we resort to them, Allie shapes up quickly because I think she knows it's the last straw. The other thing we do often is ignore her.. sounds super mean, but when she's whining or crabbing and I don't have the opportunity to give her a time out - like in the car or at a store, I'll just tell her I'm ignoring her until she can behave. Both of those techniques work well for us. As far as bedtime, I don't know what other ideas to give you... but do you have a bedtime routine established? I'm guessing you do, but I know the "experts" always say that works well and I think it does for us too. We do brushing teeth, potty and 3 stories and then Allie knows it's lights out. Good luck, these times can be trying and you've probably already tried these techniques, but just thought I'd offer them up if you hadn't!
Jace is getting so big!
I'm sorry you are struggling with bedtime Katrina. My daughter didn't sleep through the night and was still waking a few times at 9 months. I was beyond exhausted! I have a friend who posts often about her son that is also spirited and I saw this link the other day that she said really helped. I don't know if you are religious, so I hope it doesn't offend you-but I thought it could bring you some peace about your current situation. I hope it gets better!
http://lysaterkeurst.com/2012/01/i-dont-want-to-raise-a-good-child/
Thanks you guys. Abbey, that link is great... totally relatable for me! And no sleeping is no fun :( Jace didn't sleep through the night until 9 months (he was up about 4-5 times a night to nurse still up until then) so when he started sleeping I was SO GRATEFUL, I just hoped it wouldn't come to an end a year later!
Jodi- Yea time outs used to work, they don't anymore. No amount of discipline or rewards has seemed to help much... if he's in the mood to misbehave he'll misbehave and if he's in the mood to be sweet, he's super super sweet. So it's just hard to establish boundaries with a kid who just doesn't care what you say or how you discipline him. :)
A friend recommended the book "Raising Your Spirited Child" and I ordered that from a used book website I like. Waiting patiently for it to arrive!
Usually I don't mind other people's comments or the fact that I know they think when he's acting out it's me doing something wrong as a parent. But after a while it wears on you and you start to doubt that you're a good parent yourself. But those are just on the bad days.
Also Jace seems to have "phases" of good and bad, like a few months of good behavior, a few months of a "challenging" phase, so I'm hoping this passes for a while. Anyways thanks for the encouragement!
Good luck Katrina! I actually have read parts of that book (Raising the Spirited Child). It's good - there are definitely parts that relate to Allie. The funniest thing about the book is there's a section about parents - and if you're a spirited parent/adult. I totally am and when I read that, I was like.. well, obviously Allie is my kid because she behaves just like I do as an adult - really put some of the "bad days" into perspective!
Well I can't pretend to have these issues, at least not to this exttent. But i do kind of wonder along with you if all this excess energy is a reaction to something. I've heard some people say that food dyes made their kids holy terrors. I don't doubt that some people are just sensitive.
In regards to sleep, would you let him play or read in his room with a night light or something? At naptime, I put owen in his room and he usually has toys in his bed or books and more often than not i hear him get out of bed. My theory is as long as he is in there and i am out here, I am happy. I would say that 75% of the time he ends up back in bed at some point, sleeping. He might not get as mauch sleep as he needs some days but its better than me fighting with him...he is just too stubborn, and as you know, two year olds can't be reasoned with.
Hang. In there!
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