Lane's Birth Story

**Warning: This is a birth story for my own memory, and to share with those who may actually care (my kids, their grandparents, other moms, etc.)  It is impossible to share a birth story without at least sort of discussing my lady bits, so please don't read any further if that offends you.  :)

Lane's Birth Story:

I had pretty much always suspected I would go overdue and have to be induced with my second pregnancy because of how my pregnancy with Jace went. But I was still hopeful that I would go into labor spontaneously and experience a more natural birth experience, rather than being strapped into a bed with an IV of the devil's pain juice (pitocin) and cords and monitors connected from all angles. But as time passed it was becoming apparent that it just wasn't going to happen. At my first overdue appointment my doctor said that although my body was preparing and my cervix was favorable, the baby just didn't seem to have room to drop down into my narrow pelvic bone while surrounded by amniotic fluid, just like it had been with Jace. He also mentioned that based on his estimates just from feeling my stomach, the baby had hit a growth spurt in the last two weeks and was around 8.5 pounds already and waiting another week would mean he would almost for sure be an over 9 pound baby... not something that's going to increase my chances of a great labor considering Jace was 8 lbs 8 oz and got stuck during pushing, which resulted in me having to give birth standing up with the force of gravity helping him out. The damage to my body from that labor was pretty severe, so the thought of having a larger baby and running into even worse issues was a concern for me.

At that moment I knew that continuing to wait much longer was not going to give me the result I had hoped for, and that real labor was not going to start until my water had broken and the baby had room to drop down. We agreed to wait it out until that Friday the 16th to allow my body prepare a little more on it's own. After we decided on the induction I felt alot of relief... even though I had wanted to experience going into labor on my own, I felt better knowing that induction took some of the stress out of worrying about his size, worrying about childcare for Jace, worrying about Tate's travel schedule for work, and worrying about getting enough antibiotics in my system in time since I was GBS+ this pregnancy. And most importantly it meant that I would get to meet my baby soon.

I went in for an NST and another check up the day before the induction and everything looked good, my cervix was a little more favorable, but the baby was still floating. We made a plan to start a super low drip of pitocin early the next morning during the required four hours of antibiotics and then break my water right away to get the baby to drop into place. Since things moved very quickly when they broke my water with Jace he didn't want to push anything too hard before the antibiotics were fully in my system and the baby was protected from contracting any infection from the GBS.

The night before the induction was very strange around the house... I felt alot of worry about labor, and was really sad to have to leave Jace the next morning. I don't know why I felt so nervous for the birth, because I wasn't that anxious the first time around. I just worried something would happen to me or to the baby and I was really emotional thinking about how potentially complicated labor can be. Jace could have cared less about me going to the hospital to have the baby though, because he knew he was going over to his friend Logan's house and he couldn't wait... he kept asking why I couldn't go to the hospital "right now!" so that he could go play. It made me feel a lot better knowing that he was going to be having fun and not worrying about us at all the next day, but I was still really sad about saying goodbye to him before going in for such a huge event in our lives.

We dropped off Jace at our friends Dawn and Chad's house the next morning to play with Logan and headed to the hospital. We checked in to the hospital at 6:30 am and worked on paperwork and boring stuff for the first hour we were there which always feels a bit surreal, everyone just talks like it's just another normal day. The nurse put my IV in the exact vein they used in my wrist during my first labor and I cringed remembering how sore it was for weeks afterwards from bending my hand during labor... unfortunately that was the only vein in my arm that was big enough so we had to use it and I lost the ability to move my left hand for the remainder of the day. By about 7:30 I was in bed, hooked up to the IV of antibiotics and the lowest dose of pitocin and had heartrate and contraction monitors hooked up on the other side of the bed. My doctor came into check on us. He said the plan was for the nurse to up my pitocin as needed to keep me contracting every 2-3 minutes during the morning, unless my pain became severe, and then he would come back to break my water at noon. The low dose of pitocin surprisingly worked more effectively than it did with Jace and I felt contractions starting right away every 2-3 minutes, but nothing was painful enough for me to believe labor was progressing. The nurse and midwife kept saying how great it was that my body was responding so well and that the pitocin should stay low until the very end of my antibiotics... but I kept saying I knew my body and that no progress was happening. They upped my dose slightly as noon approached and I started to feel a little pain underneath my rib cage with each contraction but nothing bad. I kept watching the clock for noon, waiting for the "real" part to start when my doctor would be back to break my water. We wasted time that morning by watching the Food Network (torture since I wasn't allowed to eat and still had an appetite) and Tate worked on some work emails on his laptop. It was very low key but I was too anxious to try to nap.

Finally around noon I could tell I was making slight progress with the higher dose of pitocin because my appetite had left. I kept watching the clock and by 12:30 my doctor still wasn't back, the nurse came in to tell me he was in an emergency c-section and would be up when he was done. It wasn't until 1:30 when he arrived to check on me. He checked my cervix and was surprised not to see more changes with how many contractions I was having so consistently. He said I was at 4-4.5 cm and 70% effaced (I had come in at 3.5 cm 60% effaced that morning). It was time to get things rolling. He had two or three nurses apply hard pressure to different sides of my belly while he broke my water to avoid anything but the baby's head slipping down first, in case of cord prolapse. It worked perfectly and we were relieved to hear the amniotic fluid was clear since it can be a risk that the baby passes meconium in the uterus once they're overdue.

Since my doctor back in Minnesota had broken my water with Jace at 10:30 am at 4 cm and he was born at 2:30 pm, I anticipated that this baby would be born 4 hours later as well, at 5:30 pm. I kept watching the clock everytime a painful contraction hit focusing on making it to 5:30 pm. My contractions were immediately much more intense after my water was broken and I was excited everytime I felt them getting worse, knowing that it meant my induction was going to be successful. I focused on trying to ignore the pain by continuing the watch mindless cooking shows. By 2:45 Tate had really started getting on my nerves (lol) and a few light waves of nausea had come over me, so I had a feeling I'd hit 6 cm and was approaching transition. I asked Tate to get the nurse to come in and check my cervix for changes... hoping that hearing I was progressing would make the pain easier.

The nurse checked me and said I was indeed 6 cm and that my doctor had been called into another surgery happening at 3:30 so she was turning my pitocin back down a bit to avoid him potentially missing my labor, because he wanted to be the one to deliver me. While I appreciated that he wanted to be present for my birth, I didn't appreciate her comment "Poor thing you're never going to have your baby if people keep having all these last minute c-sections today!" Umm... not encouraging!! She also brought up getting an epidural now, while there was "time", but I told her I wasn't interested and I would bring it up if I was. (Because I feel like someone offering you drugs in the middle of pain is (of course!) going to make you want it... I would rather not be asked and wait until I felt it was something I absolutely needed to get by. Because of my labor with Jace I had hoped to avoid pain medications all together but hadn't been very vocal about that I guess.) Even with the pitocin turned down I was still contracting every 2 minutes or so, and the pain was getting worse. I kept watching the clock focusing on 15 minute chunks of time, telling myself 5:30 wasn't that far away.

The next hour was pretty bad, I was going through transition and couldn't focus anymore on zoning out or focusing on time ticking away anymore. All I could focus on to get through the contractions were getting through the "peaks" of each contraction... breathing down the seconds, focusing on the fact that they were only REALLY bad for about 15-30 seconds at the peak, and that the rest was managable. I also was trying to focus on visualizing each contraction bringing the baby further and further down the birth canal. These simple tools were helping, considering with my first labor I had no idea what to expect going in and wasn't prepared with any coping methods other than freaking out. At about 3:45 I requested the nurse to check my cervix again and she said I was 7.5-8 cm. At this point my entire body was shaking uncontrollably both during and in between contractions. Tate stood behind me and rubbed my back as hard as he could through each and every contraction.

I was confused on why I wasn't 9 or 10 cm at that point, because I couldn't remember my contractions with Jace getting that bad until the very end. The nurse assured me the pain of the actual contractions wouldn't actually get worse now that I was already at 8 cm, but there would be added pressure at the end obviously. Well she was wrong. Within 5 minutes my contractions jumped to a new level of pain, and I felt like my body was turning inside out. I had Tate go find the nurse to tell her I was feeling the urge to push. She checked me and I was 9.5 cm but still at a +1 station. She brought up the epidural again, I said no. Then I started contracting and said yes. Then I stopped contracting and told her nevermind that I didn't want it and that I knew that meant I couldn't change my mind. Apparently they don't see many inductions without pain meds at this particular hospital because she asked me over and over again if I was 100% sure. At that point she quit bringing it up and completely turned off my pitocin because she was nervous my doctor would miss my labor if she didn't. With the sudden shut off of pitocin my body continued to stay at 9.5 cm for another 20 minutes or so. Then at almost 5:30 pm my doctor came in, he was just out of surgery and another patient of his was in the next room and was almost completely dilated as well. He came to check on me and the nurse told him I wasn't ready to push yet and was only 9.5 cm.

Before he even had a chance to check for himself, I started telling them in between contractions that I needed to get up and pee from all the pressure, but they wouldn't let me stand at this point. Then with the next contraction my whole body jerked as if I was vomiting, it was the most powerful reflex and it was pushing the baby out without my control. My doctor had only been in the room 2 minutes and started hurrying to get the bed set up and get gloves on since I couldn't stop my body from spontaneously pushing. Finally the bed was set up and I was told I could put my feet up and start to push through the contractions. I was already in the middle of a contraction but pushed for the end of it. Then within 30 seconds I was having another mini-contraction and pushed again. The contraction tapered off before I could get a good push in and I screamed in frustration (yes, I was officially a screamer, yikes). Then less than a minute later I could feel another contraction coming and I told myself this was it, I couldn't take the pain anymore and pushed as hard as I could. I heard all three of them gasp as the baby's head came out. The doctor told me to quit pushing and I could hear him suctioning the babys mouth and nose. It was the most powerful feeling at that moment that this was really happening and that my little boy was finally here. In the beginning of the next contraction the doctor had me do a small push and said "pop goes the baby" as I felt the most overwhelming relief flood over my body. It was instant pain loss, and instant euphoria. It was 5:34 pm.

In those first seconds all I could do was cry, and I was still shaking uncontrollably... but the pain was gone and the baby was here. The sound of cries immediately filled the room as they commented on how big he was and Tate kept telling me how great he looked and that he looked like Jace. As soon as the doctor had rubbed him until he was good and angry he let Tate cut the cord, and the nurse laid him on my chest skin to skin. I couldn't even see him yet, he just burrowed into my chest and calmed down immediately. My body was still shaking as the doctor worked to deliver the placenta and repair some tearing. Then I suddenly felt huge rushes of blood coming out and the doctor say "Ok we just splashed the wall with blood, pitocin now!" to the nurse. I immediately started panicking that I was bleeding out and all my fears about labor from the night before were becoming a reality. My doctor stayed calm, and Tate kept telling me I was fine it wasn't as bad as it felt and it was going to be ok. My doctor worked some sort of miracle because a few moments later the blood slowed and I was back to focusing on the baby. The nurse let him stay on my chest for at least 20 minutes before she took him to weigh and measure him.

8 pounds 8 ounces. The exact same size Jace was. Now that he was laying in the baby bed next to me I could finally see what he looked like and started crying. He looked perfect and so much like Jace, but yet so different too. He was here and we were both ok... and I couldn't stop crying. All the worries I had had about labor disappeared and I just felt happiness and couldn't believe how amazingly I already loved this little person. The nurse brought him back to my chest right away and told me to continue keeping him skin to skin for the next several minutes before trying to nurse him because his heartrate was a bit high and he needed to be calmed down first so that he wouldn't choke. As soon as he laid back on my chest he stopped crying and his heartrate slowed back down and we just laid there together for a long time. I can't remember all the details of those moments, I just remember Tate excitedly calling and texting our friends and family and me feeling absolute peace in the world. It was really the most amazing experience I could have imagined, and I'm so glad that I was fully present in the moment and got to have that natural birth high that I had wanted so desperately to have experienced the first time around.

Because of my bleeding we had to stay in the delivery room for a while before being moved over to recovery. We checked in on Jace and he was already asleep at his friend Logan's house, so we left him there for the night and Tate was able to stay with me and help me throughout the night so that I didn't have to get out of bed with how weak I was from blood loss. Once we got situated in our recovery room Tate and the baby both dozed off. I couldn't sleep at all that first night, the adrenaline was still pumping through my body, so instead I just sat there and watched the baby sleep, and listened to his little coo's and thought about how much I missed Jace at that moment, and how lucky I was to have been given the most amazing boys I could ever imagine loving.

Lane Thomas Broze
Born: Friday November 16th at 5:34 pm
Weight: 8 lbs 8 oz
Length: 21 inches
Head: 15 inches